To Fertility.. And Beyond!: Life is good.

I am in awe of my life. My baby and my hubby are so wonderful and I feel so blessed. Abi is 12 weeks old (as of this past Friday) but honestly I feel like I've known her my whole life. I think I've said that before, but it's true. Her smiles and partial giggles (no real laughing as of yet) bring my heart so much joy and fills me up with a love more sweet than any I could have ever imagined. Even when I'm frustrated with her crying or waking up every 3 hours at night (which she's started again these past two days...) I just think about how wonderful the happy baby times are and how I won't always have this precious little baby to snuggle... and I smile. She's growing up too quickly, and everyone seems to want her to do more; sit up better, giggle and laugh, try baby food etc. I'm not ready for my baby to grow up yet! So I'm not forcing her to grow up faster than she already is. She's not going to be on rice cereal, and baby food will not start until at least 6 months. I am trying to do tummy time with her, but she hates it! I think the longest we've gone without her crying is 4 minutes. Which isn't too bad, but then I feel awful for making her cry so I don't do anymore tummy time that day! lol. I look forward to the day she sleeps in her own room and through the night.. but we don't even have a crib mattress, and I'm not willing to part with her until at least 4 months (after the greatest risk of SIDS has passed). That day will come eventually and until then I will cherish every moment of sleeplessness due to listening for her breathing and being woken up by her fussing or snorting.

I have been having a few issues with her pulling at my nipple when breastfeeding.. it HURTS but I'm still offering it to her every chance I get. And I'll continue to do so until I get bit with teeth.. but even then if I have any milk left I'll pump and give it to her. I'm bound and determined to give her as much breast milk as I can. I was breastfed and I was hardly sick as a child. (I had strep a lot tho, but once my tonsils were removed I was fine) I keep trying to look at it this way, every ounce of breast milk is an ounce of formula she doesn't have to have. I still cry when I feed her formula. Not every time, not anymore anyway. I will never again listen to a pediatrician when they say "you have to supplement" at 2 weeks old. I will go to a lactation consultant the day after I leave the hospital and every other day after if I have to! I know there could be other factors effecting my not being able to exclusively breastfeed. Including the fact that I was induced with pitocin and had an epidural. I don't know if the dr who delivered Abi used suction to clean out her nose and mouth but if she did, that could be a reason for Abi's weak suck too. I will probably always get an epidural, but hopefully next time I can wait longer. And hopefully next time I won't have to be induced.. That is if we have another baby, lol.

Anyway, Here are a few recent pics of my lil princess. More reminders of how good life is. :)