More ready than ever

WARNING! THIS POST CONTAINS THINGS YOU MAY CONSIDER TMI. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK ;)
In a way, I feel so much more mature than I was 5 years ago. In other ways, I feel like exactly the same person. I know I have grown, I know I am different thanks in part to my loving husband. I am better able to express myself in a productive manner (most of the time.) I cannot, however, always find the words to express how very much I want to be a mother. And I'm scared to become a parent I truly am. But I know that I can do it, and that I have an amazing partner to help me. So many of my friends have babies or are pregnant or both and I am just jealous! But I know that's not a good reason to have a baby. We have no money, no jobs right now, no insurance, we live with my grandfather, I'm still in school.. not to mention that there's NO room in this house for a baby and all the stuff that comes with a baby... I feel stuck, even moreso now than I did before we moved here. I guess it's all because we have no money. No money means we cannot move forward, can't buy a house, can't expand our family.. just can't do anything. Yes I'm trying to find work, even though I am going to school. I hated having to work and go to school full time, but I guess that it's just something I'll have to suck up and do anyway. Hopefully, hubby gets the dream job he had an interview for a week ago. That job means money and benefits and trying for a baby soon... it means saving for a house and dr.s' appointments to see if I will have trouble conceiving. Yes, trouble. It seems as tho I am not ovulating. How do I know I'm not ovulating? Well, other than the lack of menstrual periods, I have been tracking my basal body temperature. I have erratic temps. Could just be stress, but I am ALWAYS stressed to some degree. If it's not stress, it's something else, something requiring medication and I need insurance for that. Why can't I just be normal or average and ovulate every month? I mean, don't get me wrong, fewer periods per year is great, but once we start trying to have a baby... that just means less chances to conceive. Scary. What if I'm one of those women who can't have kids? We've already decided that we'd adopt if that were the case.. but I will still miss out on being pregnant, and honestly I want that experience too! I know it's too early to start freaking out about it, but that's what I do. I worry. Which doesn't help with the not ovulating... which doesn't help with the stress. It's a vicious cycle. And if I'm not worrying about that I'm worrying over money and not having enough. We have plenty to get us through right now.. but it's not enough to start trying for a baby or buy a house. I want to be good and do the right thing, but it's so very tempting to just give in and start trying now. But I want to give our future children the very best start I can.. which means prenatal visits to the dr... argh... why can't this be easier??