I'm still reeling over the loss of my mom. There are good days and bad days and then really bad days. The days that tend to be really bad are the ones I'm not working and Abi is in daycare.. and hubby is at work. Being alone is definitely the hardest, but I've been able to get through alright. Hubby is very understanding (even though he and mom didn't exactly see eye to eye, he respected her as a person and as my mother.) And of course he doesn't like to see me in pain of any kind. I've been diving into memories and trying to stay away from the what ifs and the things Abi will be missing out on.. she still doesn't get it really. It's incredibly hard to hear her play and say "barbie passed away" or have her call grandma on her pretend phone and say "grandma passed away but she'll be back later" I mean, she's three, I know she won't fully comprehend for some time.. it's still just really hard.
My mom and I had our differences, and we were finally working through them and getting to a good place in our relationship. I cannot believe that both my parents are gone. .. It's been a while since dad died (suddenly) and so I'm able to deal with that pain a little better, obviously. But I'm only 31 I shouldn't be mourning both my parents. There's so much more that goes along with this, and when I am able I will write more but for now I think that this is all I can handle on this topic...
On a brighter note... I have an OB/GYN appt next week to try to figure out a game plan and get my cycle back to normal because.. Hubby is FINALLY on board with trying for number 2!!!!!! Like legitimately trying! Woohooo!!
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