What sucks about being done

You know, my husband and I have decided we're done having kids.  I'm mean done done... like he's already had a vasectomy done.  And I'm totally on board with that,  even tho in my heart I'd still welcome an oopsie. I love this baby phase.  But I struggled with infertility and getting pregnant so long that I think it would be nearly impossible to have an oops. Then there's today.  I've almost never had the good signs of ovulation,  not even done
While on medication to make me ovulate.  But yesterday and today I've had glaringly obvious ovulation signs.  Today just for fun I took an opk and it was positive.  Now I'm having the WORST ovulation pain!  It's ridiculous,  and while I know we are done... its making me want to try for another.  I mean,  I'd been tracking this stuff for years and now finally my body is doing something it's supposed to be doing,  something I'd been waiting for and I can not do anything about it.  Nothing but sit here and be in pain knowing that egg will not become anything... its such an odd thing.  You don't think about it though Any cycle most of your life,  until you ttc... or try not to.  I'd be crazy to have another baby so soon. I'd probably lose my mind with the hormones.  I know I'm done. It's just hard to accept.

Happy Baby

Archer is the happiest baby ever. He really doesn't cry unless he's tired/hungry or having a clingy day and I walk into the other room. While that seems like a lot, it's really not. He's pretty happy go lucky and is quite often quietly observing everything around him. He loves to smile at us and love love loves his sissy. She's pretty head over heels for him too, it's cute.

Archer has gone through a growth spurt lately and is getting so big! I don't know specifics at the moment but I do know he no longer fits on my lap the way he did just a few weeks ago. He's sitting up and playing with toys, and I've even seen him scooting backward just a little. I cannot wait to see what else he will be doing next!

7 months!!

2 weeks ago baby boy was 17lbs 12oz 27inches long and had his very first shot. He did great! Archer is such a happy baby and loves me and daddy and sissy so much! He giggles, rolls front to back and back to front, is eating lots of different solids but still taking about 4oz bottles every 2 hours or so. He sleeps in his crib and is, for the most part, sleeping through the night.  We went to the zoo for the first time the other day and even though it was really hot he did super well. He's starting to sit up on his own more and more and it looks like he'll be army crawling/scooting here soon. He loves to blow raspberries and stick his tongue out. He's had the same 2 teeth since 3 months and while I think he's teething now, there's no obvious sign of teething coming in yet. I love this little guy just oh so much!

I've been dealing with post partum depression and anxiety and have been put on a low dose medication for it. Can't say it's made things perfect, but it certainly has taken the edge off. I've gained back all the weight I lost and so I've decided to start the Keto diet here soon. My husband lost over 50lbs since Jan/Feb on it, and I'm hoping that I can have even remotely similar weight loss. I know that I have to go low carb anyway so this will hopefully work out pretty well for me. We'll see. I've been on and off so many diets it's crazy.

6 month update!

Wow, have I been lacking in the update department! I cannot believe my little man is 25 1/2 weeks old (almost 6 months by date!!) He's rolling over now, back to front but while he has gone front to back, will not currently. He'll just lay there and scream until we move him back or pick him up. Silly little guy! He's taking 3-4oz of milk every 2-3 hours and sometimes sleeping through the night. But lately has been waking every hour or so until about 11pm. He is eating his first solid food this week... Avocado! The same food we started Abi on. He LOVES it! He has been ready to eat solids since about 4 months. He was showing all the signs but we were not comfortable starting so soon, especially with his eczema. So we waited. I'm glad because now he just devours his yummy food! Not sure what's next but it will probably be met with the same enthusiasm as the avocado. He didn't even really make any funny faces!

13 weeks / 3 month update

Archer is now officially 3 months old, though he turned 12 weeks last Friday. Odd how that works. Anyway we have finally seen our new pediatrician, and I'm hoping this will be a better fit for our needs. Here are a few stats on our little man!

14lbs 13oz and 24 1/4 inches long. He's my little chunk!

Smiles and cooes all the time now, and it just melts my heart!

Has started to laugh (an advanced milestone I understand) but only in the bath tub.

Head control is getting much better, he can hold it up for a minute or so before getting wobbly.

Loves his swing, bouncer seat, jungle mat, Christmas lights... not super big on snuggling excet at night.

He enjoys smiling and cooeing at mommy and is starting to find his hands and watch them with his eyes. He sucks on his hands a lot, he just hasn't really noticed them until now.

He likes his sleep and will nap 3-4 hours in his crib if we let him, but his night time sleep is still up in
the air. Lately he's been going a few days of waking every 3 hours then a few days of sleeping a full 6 hour stretch before waking. I never know what's coming!

Hates being swaddled but will allow me to put him in the Halo sleep sack for his naps. I'm convinced if we were to put him in his crib at night in that thing he'd sleep 8 hours. I'm not really ready for that yet...

We are switching him from a size 2 to size 3 diaper and he is in size 3-6 month clothes!

Hates tummy time on the floor but will tolerate it modified on mommy. He also hates being in his car seat when the car is stopped. He has screamed himself hoarse on several occasions.

I think that's it! I'm still very much in love with my little man and I am so enjoying learning everything about him and watching him grow!

11 weeks...

My how time flies. My baby boy is now 11 going on 12 weeks this Friday. He is gaining more head control, smiling daily and just today had his first real laugh! I was giving him a bath and pouring water on his chest and belly to keep him warm. Well something about my smile/tone and the water must have struck him funny because he let out several of the most adorable baby giggles! I'm so in love with this little guy!

He's been sleeping a bit better at night now, he went about 5 hours from wake up to me waking him up (he had been fussing off and on and I was going to try to dream feed) and the sleep is so so needed. His naps are still hit or miss, but right now he's been down for about 2 hours and we all needed that break.

We are in the process of changing pediatricians so I don't know his length or weight yet. We will find out on Thursday when we meet the new Dr. Our old one was a vaccine pusher and while we do vaccinate, it's a delayed schedule. Well she didn't like that much and kept hounding me, to the point she flat out told me she would be guilt tripping me every visit. Not something I want to hear from someone who's supposed to be helping us.

Hospital stay and baby health issues

So Archer was born with some breathing issues and mild jaundice. His respiration rate was pretty high and so they kept an eye on that quite a bit while we were in the hospital. The real issue though was the jaundice. They kept having to poke his little heel for blood! I felt so so bad every time they came in for more blood because they literally milk his heel to get enough blood to test. Poor baby had a nasty bruise on one heel for days. And I think that some of the heel poke marks are still on his feet as scars. They said the needles weren't that big but they lied. They didn't put him under a bili light but said that they might have to if his levels remained high. As desperate as I was to breastfeed, and as great as the lactation consultant was, Archer was still too sleepy to breastfeed (what newborn ACTUALLY latches and feeds a lot right off the bat?) so they suggested adding some formula to my nipples to help encourage him to suck. We tried that and I was actually making some colostrum so that helped too... but ... he wasn't eating the way they wanted because the extra bilirubin gets excreted through poop, and so a well-fed baby will poop a lot and get all that bilirubin out faster. And so supplementing from the get-go happened... and now we don't really breastfeed because my supply sucks. But I do pump what I can and give him the milk in a bottle. I'll latch him when I feel he will take to it and he does a decent job, but he doesn't drain my breasts all the way so I still have to pump after I feed him. But I digress; Archer was born on a Friday, and we were discharged that following Sunday with orders to get him to the pediatrician on Monday for another bili check. And we did, took him to see our pedi (whom we will be leaving... ) and they have a lab in the same building so naturally, we went there to have his blood drawn. Well, they screwed up! and we had to go back Tuesday for ANOTHER blood draw. My poor baby. We chose the lab at our local hospital this time and thankfully his levels were fine and we no longer had to keep having him tested after that. But boy was I pissed and I will not be going to the lab by our pediatrician ever again.

I cannot tell you how much I hated being in the hospital this time. Last time I wanted to stay another day or 2, but I couldn't get comfortable in the bed, the pillows sucked, it was really hard to get Archer positioned for breastfeeding, I was so sore I had the worst time sitting on the bed and the bracelets itched my wrist something fierce! I just wanted to be home, away from all of the interventions and in my comfortable place. So I was grateful that we didn't have to stay longer than Sunday (not only for my comfort of course, but mostly that Archer was well enough to come home) We got home and got settled and that was 7 weeks ago! Holy cow time has flown!