The second installment of a hormonal pregnant lady

Yesterday, while talking to my hubby, he made an unhappy facial gesture in reference to my mom. Now mom and I have had our differences, but she's been trying and so have I. So I burst into tears and tried (not sure how well) to ask my hubby to try harder to get along with my mom. She meddles and that bugs him to no end. Not to mention that mom isn't much help when asked for information (her's is generally very dated, either that or she offers no info just criticism...) but she's still one of the only people in my family that I talk to regularly, and well, she's my mom. So as long as I'm giving her yet another chance, I'm hoping that hubby can too. He really doesn't want to, but with all my crying I think he decided that he will put up with as much as he can.. for my sake. Which I appreciate. I just wish I hadn't been bawling when I asked him. So now I feel like I'm guilting him into something... although I'm sure he doesn't really see it that way. He knows I'm a hormonal mess.  Ha. What an understatement.

To top it off, my mom calls me sobbing last night. I can't go into details, but things on her end have gotten pretty serious and I'm afraid she's going to fall right back into her drinking. She's been doing so good up until this point. The worst part is I can't do a darned thing for her. So if you read this, could you please say a short prayer for us. I know I have been pretty vague on the details, but we'll take any prayer we can get. Thanks so much!

Being sick while pregnant is...

Not very fun. I have a head cold, and while that's probably not the worst thing that I could come down with, the past few days have been hell. Sinus headaches and aching sinuses and a runny yet stuffed up nose and not breathing well (especially in my sleep) and achy joints plus super tender skin (not to mention breasts) have all made me cranky to say the least. Not to mention the million other things I have on my plate right now. I'm surprised, however, that I have been able to sleep relatively normally the past few nights. I think it's because I've ditched the "trying to stay sleeping on my left side" for shifting positions again. Although I am a stomach sleeper, so I'm still not very comfortable... I'm sure it's only going to get worse before it gets better, lol. I've been told that I can take Tylenol and Sudafed, but I'm just so afraid of taking anything during the first trimester.. so afraid that during this most crucial developmental time, I'll take something and it will hurt my baby. I couldn't live with myself if that happened...
So I'm stuck being sick and pregnant. And I know I'm not alone, that many if not every mother has gone through this at some point. I just wish I could do something about it.

Hi, I'm a hormonal pregnant lady...

Yes, I am a hormonal pregnant lady. What? Really? I never would have thought that I of all people would be moody and hormonal. HA! Considering my PMS used to be wicked bad.. I knew poor hubby was in for a rocky road (mmm.. rocky road icecream sounds awesome right now!) ahem.. anyway, today was not the best day for me. Mostly little stuff really upset me but the icing on the cake was when I started the drive home and realized that I had a flat tire. First of all, I was driving hubby's car because grandpa had therapy and cannot get into his truck anymore, so I left my car at home for hubby to drive. Then I found out that grandpa didn't even go to therapy. That ticked me off because hubby's car doesn't have air conditioning and I was sweating like crazy. THEN I get a flat tire. Which wouldn't have happened if I had taken my own car. Well I pulled over to the side of the road and burst into tears. I ended up sobbing on the phone to my husband, the poor guy probably felt so bad and he didn't even do anything wrong! Thankfully, hubby is my hero and came to my rescue. He changed the tire like it was nothing (it actually took him a while because it was rusted, but he made it look easy!) He's so awesome to me. He always has been but especially now that we're expecting. Bursting into tears made me feel so stupid.. I usually get mad when I get a flat, not sad. lol. I'm sure tomorrow will be yet another adventure in the crazy hormone department. Woohoo!!!

An early look at our little squishy!

Last Wednesday I had an ultrasound so that we could figure out exactly how far along I am. My due date according to the ultrasound tech is March 18th.. only one day off from what I was figuring at March 17th! Crazy! Not only did we get to see our little squishy, but we got to see and HEAR the heart beat! Talk about a beautiful sound! Hubby was so excited and he now says that the heart beat is his favorite sound in the whole world. You know what? Me too. :)

The first of many...

Yesterday I had the first of many test that I will endure throughout this pregnancy. It was a blood test to determine my estimated date of conception. I got poked twice because apparently my veins are small and I'm sorry but that needle is NOT tiny. lol. When the tech told me for my full prenatal blood work they'd be taking 6 vials, my jaw about hit the floor. That's a lot of blood! But I've had 4 drawn before, so what's 2 more vials?
Oh and and and hubby got the job he recently interviewed for! So we will have health insurance in 2 months and one week!!!! That's very exciting. For the time being though, I am looking into getting on assistance just to help get us through the next 67 days. No, it's not ideal. Did I ever expect we'd need to be on assistance? NO. But I'll be damned if I wait to get prenatal care and something goes wrong. We have also found a clinic that supposedly does free ultrasounds. So I am looking into that to see if we can get our first one done before hubby starts work. My dr. wanted me to get one anyway, why not get it for free if we can? I'm so excited that things are actually starting to happen for us!

Doin' the HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!

So I am now totally doing the happy dance! The reason for this dance you ask? Well, not only did I ovulate last month (finally after 90 days!) but it would seem there's a BUN IN MY OVEN!!!!!! :) Yes, we happened to "time" things just right (even tho I had no idea really because I thought I O'ed before hand and just had lower temps this time..) So yes, today on 14 dpo I have my first BFP!

WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :dance: :dance: :dance:!

What is wrong with me lately??

So I just totally flipped out on my poor grandpa. He was talking to me AGAIN about covering up the hole in the wall that we can't actually repair until the termite people come and determine what they are going to do.. so I'm fed up hearing about it (partly my fault because I've been putting off covering the hole.. just my laziness) and I started getting huffy. Well he keeps on talking and I flat out flipped. Not quite yelling, but a little on the verge of shouting telling him we'll get it done RIGHT NOW and have it done and over with. His problem is he wants to explain everything again and again and again.. and I can only take so much repetition until I want to scream. SO poor hubby walks in and starts to say that the plastic we're going to cover the hole with isn't going to make it darker, and I half shouted at him to stop and just go get the plastic. I didn't want hubby changing grandpa's mind because then we'd be having a whole new discussion and I was completely fed up. Then once we covered the hole and I calmed down grandpa starts talking about looking for rest homes so that he's "not burdening us or causing fights." Total guilt trip and it totally worked. I broke down and cried and apologized and told him that I didn't mean to be hateful or hurtful that I was just frustrated and I know he's miserable sitting in that chair day in and day out but that he's slowly getting better and there's no need for a nursing home because he'll be in therapy for his shoulder soon and he can stay home.. especially after all this time. If he was going to go into a nursing home I wish he would have done it from the beginning.. but I didn't tell him that. So now I'm trying to make up for being such a mean bitch and trying to be patient and calm.
I knew when we moved in here that there would be tension.. I never knew it would be this bad. I try so hard NOT to flip out (I'm not a patient person by any means) because I know he doesn't like the situation he's in, and that he does try to think about us when he can. He's helping us out so much by letting us live here.. and I know we're helping him too by being here.. but I just can't be patient ALL the time, no matter how hard I try. I thought I was doing so well... And even mom agrees that grandpa can be a handful..

I hope that this isn't a sign from God that I shouldn't have kids or something. I mean, how do impatient, quick to get angry people do it?? Yes, kids are a little different than my grandpa, but still.

So severe mood swings today.. and even yesterday a little. But yesterday it was a swing from bored/tired to super hyper and bouncy. Sounds bi-polar I know! I just wish I knew what the heck is going on with me lately! Grr..