I just had a bomb dropped on me

Okay so bear with me, this may get a little confusing for a moment. But I will try to lay it out as easily as I can.

My mom wanted more kids when she married my step dad. They tried for like 9 years, then mom got sick. All her testing said she could still have kids, and all his testing said he was the problem. Mom asked me to surrogate a baby for them, but by that time I was getting married, and my husband did not like the idea. I also hadn't even had my own kid yet, and so it would have been so strange to be carrying my biological brother or sister my first time being pregnant. Anyway, mom asked a few cousins and second cousins (so my cousin's kids.. all in their 20's) most of whom said no thank you. She wanted someone in the family so that they at least carried some DNA relatively close to hers. Then mom got so sick, she wouldn't even have been able to donate an egg, and that's when apparently my second cousin Amber said she'd donate an egg AND carry the baby. I knew none of this. Fast forward a few months and my mom passes away.

Fast forward to this year, 2 weeks ago. I run out at lunch to pick up food for dinner from a grocery store I never usually go to. As I'm getting into my car, my step dad pulls up and waves. So I jump out of my car and run over to give him a hug and say hi. We start talking and he says "I've got something to tell you" So I figure he's moving on and has a girlfriend. Ok, whatever. Nope. He's having a baby. Not with a girlfriend, but with my second cousin Amber. They are not dating, they had it all done at a fertility clinic. She's 20 weeks along with a boy. His name is Noah.

You could have picked me up off of the parking lot. I was floored. My second cousin Amber is apparently "gifting" this baby to him. So supposedly she will sign off all rights to the baby when he's born so that he will be solely my step-dads. HOWEVER, she will be breast feeding him for the first 6 months to a year AND will be "babysitting". Now, this is going to be her biological child. She has a 6 year old son already and he is calling the baby "his brother". The kid doesn't understand that the baby isn't theirs to keep.. but not only that, if it's not theirs to keep why the heck the baby is STAYING with them so much. It's all incredibly convoluted. Amber is also a stay at home mom. Now, while that is not a bad thing, she has no way of taking care of her kid so she depends on her mom (my cousin Lisa) Lisa pays for both her house (where Amber stays) AND stays with my step-dad and helps him make ends meet by paying a bill or two. It's so crazy. I asked her why Amber doesn't work and she says "she can't." Well, now that she's very pregnant, she might have trouble working, sure. But why couldn't she work before? No, this is a nice way for Amber to secure her stay at home status. She's "helping" my step-dad by taking care of his baby so she can't work. I'm probably not wording all this the best but good grief is this all a messed up situation.

Granted, this is really none of my business. BUT, my daughter loves my step-dad. So shortly after Christmas when he suddenly has a newborn baby she's going to wonder where he came from. She knows boys can't have babies. I'm struggling to figure out what to tell her. She's only 4, she doesn't need to know all the details of any of this. My husband is at a loss as to what to tell Abi also... But we've been discussing it and so we'll see. She doesn't need to know anything now of course. Then there's the nurturer in me.. and I so love my step-dad... I have offered him my baby gear; swing, jumper, bouncy seat, pack and play. All of it. Plus I'm planning crafts and gifts and things because well.. it's a baby that's being brought into my family, as strange of a situation as it is. And I want to love on that baby, partly because he's family and partly because I don't have a newborn of my own to dwell on... It's just all shocking and now that it has been a few weeks (I started this post the day I found out and am only now finishing it) I've had time to adjust to the idea. Again, I know, none of my business. And I know that my mom is looking down from heaven and happy that I'm wiling to help her husband out in anyway I can. I would be doing the same thing if she were alive. ..