Mish mash

I have been hiding a lot lately. I feel disgusting, carrying around all this extra weight that I can't for the life of me seem to shed and so I've been hibernating in my house. Which makes me feel so alone. I go to work, Abi goes to school (unless she's sick like she was last week, poor kiddo) and then I come home. If I go out at all, it's to the store and I end up spending way too much money on things that I could probably do without. I know Abi could. I've been feeling like the worst parent in the world lately too. I haven't been playing with Abi as much, and while most of the time she takes it like a champ.. it's the days where the chores have really piled up and I just need to get it all done that she's clingy and begs me to play with her. My heart breaks on my days off because I'm constantly saying "not right now sweetie" to my precious girl who just wants my time. But my house.. oh my house. Every time I get it into some sort of normal, clean-ish order something happens and it all goes to hell. Dishes pile up, laundry piles up.. the living room is insane right now because we have a new couch and have yet to get rid of the old stuff. So it's all packed in there. Toys and art supplies constantly litter the floor (even after I've picked them up a hundred times) Abi doesn't get the concept of helping yet.. or rather she does but deems it "boring!" so to avoid a fight I just let her play most of the time. Don't get me wrong, she will help at times. And it's going to get worse before it gets better I'm sure. But I'm just.. stuck. And I know I complain a lot, but I have no where else to vent. My husband is a "fixer" and so even if I just want to talk to get something off my chest, he's always trying to come up with a way to fix it. He's giving advice and that's all well and good but sometimes I just don't want it. Unfortunately, I have to be careful about how much I complain to him without "fixing" my problem because eventually he'll just stop listening. He's never gotten mean with me about things, but I can tell when I've exhausted a topic.

Anyway... Lots of happy things happen too. Like Abi had her 4 year well check yesterday and did fantastic! Hardly any crying for her shot and is healthy and perfect. She's so tall she's off their chart. Seriously, my 4 year old is 3'8"!!!!! So tall!
This past weekend we got a kitty. Originally we were going to get a girl, but it ended up there were only boys to choose from so... we have a little grey and white kitty and we named him Genie after the Genie in Aladdin. Abi did not do so well in the listening department for the first few days, and she would hold him too roughly, or drop him into/onto something. There has been a lot of correcting and I know I'm feeling bad about it, so I'm sure she is too. Poor kid, she is just so excited to have a kitty! But we've had some good times too. He likes to meow to us and climb up on our chests to be petted to sleep. He's got the tiniest little kitty face! I love him so much! lol I'm on my work computer, or I'd post pictures (because I've already got a ton!) But I'll have to leave that for another day. So, he's my baby for now until I can maybe hopefully get myself into a healthy place to have another human baby. Ahhh... someday.