Lately

Well, I am finally back. I am trying to get on my computer more so that I can blog more but I've been studying for my registry exams so it's been tough. There are many, many updates in the making.. which I think I'll separate into multiple posts over the next few weeks so that I can work on individual topics. I think that way it will read easier, lol. So I got this idea from Mrs V on a list of the last thing(s) I have done. So here goes!

The Last...
Person I texted was my husband. It seems like the only two people I text (or talk to at all) these days are my husband and my mom. Well, then of course there's Abi. I talk to her daily, lol. 

Movie I watched was How to Train Your Dragon 2. I loved the first one because I love the idea of dragons, I like most of Dreamworks movies and it was just what I needed to decompress after a long week of hobbling around. Oh yeah, I sprained my left ankle really bad a few weeks ago.. at the park.. alone with Abi... yet another post.. 

Person I talked to was the gentleman at the drive through at Tim Hortons. I'm still on Weight Watchers, but I've been cheating a bit lately. I have to get back into the swing of things if I'm going to drop another 10lbs by Christmas. 

The last package to arrive... I got a knife/spatula/measuring spoon set from hubby's grandpa in North Dakota. It was an odd gift, and not my birthday. But I appreciate a good, sharp knife, and I really like the metal measuring spoons. :) So I'm grateful for the thought.

Outfit I wore was my grey dress pants and blue and white striped dress shirt. I went to a local pregnancy center to interview for a volunteer position to do ultrasound for them. Unfortunately they have been pretty slow so they said they'd call if things picked up. Geez I can't even volunteer somewhere..

Thing I cooked was a delicious, lighter taco casserole. Well, actually it was just ground beef, salsa, and black beans (the recipe calls for taco chips too, but I tried to make it "lighter" lol) It is so so good! I'm going to have hubby buy more of the salsa I used because it is just amazing! I had more for a snack later on because it was just so good!

Thing I ate was a bagel belt from Tim Hortons. Again.. cheating on my diet, but I am logging the points, so I guess it's okay. I was doing so well not going to any fast food.. I have to reimplement my fast food ban, or I'm going to gain back the 12lbs I've lost.

Picture I took on my phone was of Abi's dinner last night. It looks really good. I was taking a picture to send to hubby and Abi said "take one of mine mommy!!" So of course, I had to oblige her adorable request.

Show I watched was King of the Hill. I am watching it right now actually. Well, listening to it more than watching it since I'm engrossed in writing this blog. lol. I like to have something playing in the background when I'm studying, and especially when I'm home alone (or hubby's upstairs sleeping) because it makes me feel less lonely. 

Game I played on my phone was Words With Friends. Do you play? Let me know, I'd love some new friends to play with.. hubby and I play all the time, when we have the time, lol. Although he tends to beat me because he "cheats" and uses names like Tony, when I don't get to.. LOL I thought it was Scrabble rules but I guess it's not really.  


So that's my post. I will be updating more, I will honestly. As soon as next Monday is over my feed will blow up with updates. At least that's the plan. Until then, wish me luck on my registry exam (that's Monday) I've already passed what I feel to be the hardest (physics) so I'm hoping I'll pass this one no problem... We'll see...

Pancakes and bacon

Title???

I have no idea what to title this post because I have not written anything in so long that my post is likely to become such a garbled mess of updates that one single title could never do it justice. Lets begin with this; I'm back on Weight Watchers. We'll see how long this lasts. I don't know why, but I have had absolutely no motivation to lose weight until recently. I've tried and failed so many times this year that it's just sad. I talk big, but I can't seem to follow through. Then my hubby said that he doesn't even want to discuss having another kid until I've got my weight and health in a better place. He wasn't being mean, he was just being concerned. I know that at my current weight a pregnancy would be very bad. Not only did I have gestational diabetes with Abi, but I was quite a bit lighter.. a heavier momma can mean a very unhealthy pregnancy and I can't do that knowing what could happen. So I guess that is my motivation.. even though I'm not entirely sure I want another kid. There are days when Abi is so amazing and cute and fun and funny and I would take 5 more of her.. Then there are nights when she wakes up screaming and I get zero sleep and I swear that I will never have anymore. It's not her fault, she's my baby and I am here to comfort her. But I love my sleep too! And if we have another kid I will be the one not sleeping again. Josh won't be getting up, partly because I'll have to get him up, partly because me having to get him up will mean I'm awake and won't be able to go back to sleep anyway. Boo. See? These are the selfish things that go through my mind.. how awful.

I've been obsessing about the Gilmore Girls lately. I love that show and thanks to hubby we own every season, so whenever I can I have been watching. I'm up to season 4 in just a few weeks. LOL What I need to be doing with my free time is studying as I have 2 registries to take and pass so that I can get a nice job. I only have to take one to become credentialed as RDMS (registered diagnostic medical sonographer) but I am taking both to make myself more marketable. I'm really vying for a position at a maternal fetal medicine department... which means yet another registry, but it's one that I was hoping to get anyway. Anyway, I really should be studying and I keep putting it off... and I need to send my paperwork in so that I can actually schedule my first test.. hopefully for the beginning of August. Scary thought. But I can't keep waiting, my last interview didn't go so well and I am pretty sure it's because I'm not yet registered.

Sigh... I will have to write a part two to this... who knows when, hopefully soon... but my eyes are burning from staring at the computer so long (looking for work) Thanks if you made it this far! :)

Foods

I've been meaning to write this for a time... I'm trying to eat better and I thought maybe if I kept posting my favorites I would find some motivation to keep going... I am terrible at following a "diet" plan of any sort these days... I'm just in a lazy/emotional/not into it slump. How awful. But... These foods help remind me that better for me food does still taste good! 

Graduation and some catch up

Today is my college graduation. I am not going because when I got my massage diploma certificate I went to that graduation and it was not very fun. This time around is from a much larger school and it will be late (starts at 6:30pm) which means it will run past Abi's bedtime, and going without my family just doesn't sound enjoyable. I never went out with the girls in my program, except for a few, to lunch, once. I have put my family first before any and all social activities since Abi was born and I'm now realizing that has had a huge negative impact on me. I'm very socially awkward, even seeing friends from high school, whom I interact with on Facebook is strained and uncomfortable in person. So sad. Part of that is my plummeting self esteem... I've gained 50lbs since having Abi... Yikes! I'm very close to my heaviest weight again and I just hate myself for letting it get this bad. The thing I've realized though is that I'm addicted to food. I've caught myself eating when I'm not even hungry. Every time I eat something salty I immediately want something sweet, and vs. versa. It's insane. But I've also realized that I hide my bad food choices from my husband in the same way my mother hid her drinking from my grandparents and my uncle hid his painkillers. I'm supposed to be on weight watchers but I haven't logged in in a few weeks. I get defensive when my husband asks me about it, and in a way it makes me want to hide my eating from him even more. What the hell is wrong with me? I think that now that I've realized this might actually be an addiction I'm going to talk to my counselor and see if she has any methods to help me get away from this food-food-food mentality. I may even try hypnotism. My mom has lost 130lbs in the past year, and while she's got lots of saggy skin, she still looks amazing. I want to look amazing again. I want to have more energy to play with Abi and keep her active too. I want my daughter to see me eating better foods, because now she wants to "bite mommy food" constantly. I had gestational diabetes and I really don't want to become a diabetic, but I know I'm on that road... and I can't seem to stop myself. I now understand why there are people in this world who are 500 and 600lbs. I have  a strong family history of addiction so I've kept my alcohol consumption in check and I don't experiment with anything illegal, and never have. I've been on the straight and narrow as far as the "addictive" vices because I didn't want to become an addict like so many in my family. Sadly it would seem, I am actually an addictive personality... and my vice is food. I have got to get a handle on this before it's too late. I haven't even admitted this to my husband yet, but I had to get it out. I can't talk to my mother, she will tell me to stop being lazy (which is no help) and we both just get defensive when we talk anyway. Anyway, I'd better get back to cleaning up this house.. it has been neglected with me being in school and my husband being on shift..

I passed!

So in order to become registered in ultrasound you have to pass a minimum of two tests; one is physics and the other can either be in abdominal imaging or ob/gyn. Well, today I took and PASSED my physics registry.. hopefully the hardest of them all! I was so nervous and sick to my stomach going into the test center, but man once I got the "you passed" paperwork, I felt light as a feather leaving.

(this was from March 29th... I've been holding off posting this because I was going to write a lot more but... I cannot remember what that was anymore! LOL)

2 years old

Abi will be two in less than two days. Where has the time gone? My baby isn't a baby anymore .. She's such a big girl that she doesn't even want me to sing to her at bed time anymore. :( since when did two turn into fourteen? 

My big girl showing off her fashion sense. 

I rarely get a non blurry pic these days, lol

Flash backs to my baby baby