Happiness

Happiness is a snoozing baby on your chest...

5 weeks old!

My little monkey, sleeping peacefully (finally) in mommy's arms. Poor thing has been stuffed up for about a week now and has such a hard time sleeping. 

Abigail's stats so far!

So since Abi will be 5 weeks old tomorrow (holy crap!) I decided to post her up to date stats so that I can keep track.

Birth day!
3/23
weight 7lbs 8oz, length 20.5 inches
discharge weight 7lbs 1 oz

3/29
weight 7lbs 1oz

4/6
weight 7lbs 1oz

4/9
weight 7lbs 8oz

4/16
weight 8lbs 8oz

4/20
weight 9lbs

4/24
weight 9lbs 2.8oz length 21.5 inches

She's starting to fit into her 3 month clothes!

Pictures!

Just thought I'd add a few pics of my precious little Abi for all of you to enjoy! :)

Taken today, the onesie she has on is a 3 month! But Carters brand seems to have odd sizing..

Taken a few days ago.. Monday I think.. 

Sleepy little pumpkin!

First time I was able to get a shot of her eyes open!

First or second night home.. and 3rd onesie of the night!

While still in the hospital, I just love that face!

Rough morning

Just so you know, I've started my birth story.. it's a work in progress at the moment ;)..
Anyway Abi is usually a happy baby.. for the most part. She's 3 weeks 5 days by the way. :) Anyway, this morning she's been pretty fussy and hasn't really slept a whole lot after I put her down from one of her feedings. Right now she's been down about 20 minutes which is the longest she's been down since about 7am. I feel bad, I think she's going through a growth spurt but my boobs just can't keep up yet. I let her suckle until she's frustrated, I've been to see the lactation consultants twice and got some really good pointers. We're doing better, but my supply just isn't up to par. I'm afraid it never will be.. Abi has a weak suck to boot so that's not helping. But she does get milk.. just not enough. So this morning she was screaming around my nipple, freaking me out a little.. I hate when she cries! I'm supposed to be the one who calms her not makes her cry harder. So I gave her 2 oz of formula which calmed her for a little while. I just hate having to give her formula. I was pumping but that's not helping when I pump and she wakes up 5 minutes after I've finished and can hardly get any milk out.. so I have to give her the pumped stuff (usually only .5-1oz) and formula. I feel like a failure and it's driving me crazy. Breastfeeding is supposed to be a great bonding experience.. but it's just frustrating me and Abi and not to mention that I can't get into a comfortable position AND have Abi in a proper position for the life of me. It doesn't work. My back is killing me, I end up with a headache by the end of the day from the way I have to sit while breastfeeding... I DO NOT want to give up, but it's just so hard. I never knew this would be the hardest thing about being a mother (at least at this point).. She's not even a month old, I can't give up one of the best things I can do for her.

She's here!

I will post my birth story and all the fun details later.. I just wanted to let you all know that Abigail has made her debut! I was induced, a decision I might not make again but all in all we ended up with a beautiful baby girl and I am just so in love! We are home and struggling a little at night, but thankfully hubby is home with me till Friday so we have a little time to work things out. I am so sore and going potty HURTS. Every time.. that part sucks because I know I have to keep up on my fluids... but anyway, my baby girl is so precious and hubby and I just stare at her sometimes and are so in awe of what we did. :) I love her more than I ever thought I could love someone.

Induction looming...

So it looks like I'm being induced Thursday morning... I don't know exactly how I feel about this. I am excited to finally be meeting my little girl but on the other hand I really didn't want to be induced and am scared because my cervix isn't exactly "favorable" according to my Dr. Tomorrow I am going to have prostaglandin gel placed to try to ripen my cervix and make it so that the foley bulb they use to dilate me will work better. My Dr. said that at least she can get her finger in there, which is good and that my cervix is thinner (as opposed to thick) which is good. SO I have made progress, just not quite enough. I was fine leaving the Dr.s office, and talking to hubby about his preference on what day we should go in... but then we met for dinner and I almost had a panic attack. I started crying as soon as I saw him (not sure why he triggered it) and had to excuse myself to the restroom before the waitress saw and thought I was nuts or something. Anyway I talked it over with hubby and started feeling a little better.. but I still feel that if I think too much about it I'm going to have a panic attack for sure. It's all the unknowns.. the thought of being in pain and inflicting it upon myself... the thought that induced contractions can be so much more painful than natural ones... wondering when I'll be able to get my epidural and if I'll be one of those unlucky ones that it doesn't work for... hoping and praying that I don't have to suffer through hours and hours of labor only to end up with a c-section... then there's all the crap that's going to hit once the baby is born (mainly my mom and hubby not getting along...) I've been trying to think of it the other way, that once all the labor and pain is over I'll have a beautiful little girl to hold. But the thought of being responsible for a tiny life is scary. I'm thankful I don't have to do it alone, and while I knew what I was getting into as far as the responsibility when we got pregnant... I don't think I understood the full weight of what becoming parents really means. I still don't.. it's another unknown that scares me. I need to get over this quick because I'm going to be a mom on Friday....