So I have been graduated since May and I have had 4 interviews for jobs in my field. Each time I felt I interviewed better than the last (practice makes perfect) and after the 2nd I felt I'd gotten the next.. then when I didn't get it I thought I got the last.. and I haven't. At this point I am so discouraged that I haven't been hired for even a per diem position (on call, less than part time mostly) and I feel absolutely useless in this household. Hubby worries about money. Not that we're in dire straights or anything, but he wants to cut some corners so that we still have that safety net should, God forbid, anything happen. But the more he tells me we need to "stop spending on X" the worse I feel that we can't keep spending on the things we've become accustomed to. Our biggest expenditure is our grocery bill, and I've been trying to coupon to help save some money but I'm not very good at it. And really, we don't use 90% of the stuff the coupons are for so why use them at all? But really, hubby buys name brand stuff and doesn't really price compare and it drives me insane! He's usually the only one who goes to the grocery store (since I have no income to go spend) and so I can't police his purchases... But of course he's not fully to blame. We as a family waste too much food. So many left overs go uneaten and we have such a hard time scaling our cooking down to reasonable 4 portion meals. Which is funny but it's not. We've always cooked that way, even when there were just two of us.. but now with Abi we want dinner for her and leftovers for her lunch the next day. But we usually end up with about 6 servings and no one eats the rest... it's just awful! But we're working on it, which is good. It's just something I'll have to work harder at since I'm not working. I guess my job now is to try to save us as much money as I can. But I'm not happy being a stay at home mom, I want to go out and work and utilize my degree. The last 4 years is a waste until I obtain gainful employment. I feel useless because I'm not working and bringing money into this house. Hubby says I'm not useless, and that he and Abi know my worth. But I need to have my own money. Money doesn't define me, I know this. I'm just tired of feeling like I'm living with my father instead of my husband.. having to ask permission to buy something or ask for money to reimburse the emergency milk/last minute dinner prep I had to buy. I haven't had to ask for money since sophomore year in high school before I got my first job. This is really hard for me. And now it's to the point where I have to start applying for any job, just so that I have money coming in. Because there is so little in my bank account I now worry about overdrawing when I have to buy gas. I hate it, and it isn't that I'm not trying to find work.
I've applied to every ultrasound job I can feasibly drive to from my home. Most want me to live within 30 minutes of the hospital, so I can take call. That's fine, there just isn't a very high demand in my area. I feel like I went into the wrong field of medicine, but I know I could have never been a nurse. They put up with way too much crap. Plus I love ultrasound, I just don't know if it's going to be what I end up doing. I'm even thinking about going back to school just so that I'm doing something.. but that means more student loans and I just can't add to that right now. (that's yet another bill hubby pays for me, and it makes me feel like crap, because it's not his debt it's mine) And now I'm rambling so I need to take a break and form a coherent thought before I continue.. so it's off to check on dinner!
Countdown to baby!
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
My experience with the Paraguard IUD
I want to start by saying I appreciate you reading my blog. I have been out of the habit of writing for a while and if you're still around checking in on me, I am grateful. This post however, will be a little TMI and a little personal and if you didn't want to ready about my IUD before, then this post is probably not going to interest you. I keep this blog as a journal for myself, as much as I like to blog for others, and read others blogs. So anyway I appreciate you reading, but if you don't read this one I'll understand. ;)
I got my IUD about a year and a half ago. In the beginning I really like it. No pills, no condoms no hormones. It was the Paraguard IUD and since it's copper there were very little side effects. Then about 3 months after having it put in I started spotting in between periods. Nothing major, nothing my Dr. was worried about, but enough to make me feel icky and keep me and hubby from being intimate. After a few months of that, it became more of an every other week thing.. I'd spot for a week, be okay for a few days then spot some more. Eventually I was bleeding more than not and I finally got to the point I'd had enough. My Dr. removed it at the end of September and I haven't had an issue with spotting since. I am so happy I finally got it taken out but then it leaves us in a bit of a conundrum.. we are not ready to expand our family just yet.. and I am not going back on hormonal birth control. It was a horrendous feeling, I hated that it made it almost impossible to lose weight and not to mention that hbc puts you a greater risk for some cancers. So to condoms we go.. again.. sadly. I miss my IUD only in that it allowed greater spontaneity and passion, but only that one day a month when I wasn't bleeding. In the past year we've only been intimate I'd say about 12 times.. yeah that's not good.. so really I guess I don't miss it all that much. But now hubby's on the "I hate condoms" kick. But only in that we've had a pregnancy "scare" (and I use that term gently because I know it is a struggle for some to conceive, and I don't want to upset anyone) and he is afraid that a condom will fail. So we're almost back to not being intimate again because hubby is afraid of us getting pregnant. I am at a loss. I think eventually he will get over it but geese.. I just want to be a married couple again.
I got my IUD about a year and a half ago. In the beginning I really like it. No pills, no condoms no hormones. It was the Paraguard IUD and since it's copper there were very little side effects. Then about 3 months after having it put in I started spotting in between periods. Nothing major, nothing my Dr. was worried about, but enough to make me feel icky and keep me and hubby from being intimate. After a few months of that, it became more of an every other week thing.. I'd spot for a week, be okay for a few days then spot some more. Eventually I was bleeding more than not and I finally got to the point I'd had enough. My Dr. removed it at the end of September and I haven't had an issue with spotting since. I am so happy I finally got it taken out but then it leaves us in a bit of a conundrum.. we are not ready to expand our family just yet.. and I am not going back on hormonal birth control. It was a horrendous feeling, I hated that it made it almost impossible to lose weight and not to mention that hbc puts you a greater risk for some cancers. So to condoms we go.. again.. sadly. I miss my IUD only in that it allowed greater spontaneity and passion, but only that one day a month when I wasn't bleeding. In the past year we've only been intimate I'd say about 12 times.. yeah that's not good.. so really I guess I don't miss it all that much. But now hubby's on the "I hate condoms" kick. But only in that we've had a pregnancy "scare" (and I use that term gently because I know it is a struggle for some to conceive, and I don't want to upset anyone) and he is afraid that a condom will fail. So we're almost back to not being intimate again because hubby is afraid of us getting pregnant. I am at a loss. I think eventually he will get over it but geese.. I just want to be a married couple again.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
I passed!!!!! Part 2
So this past Monday I took the second half of my registry examinations, the abdomen portion. This contained regular anatomy and pathology on all of the abdominal organs plus thyroid and some vascular PLUS some physics (which if you remember I've already passed!) so there was a LOT to study for. I may not have gotten a super awesome A, but I did pass with a higher score than my physics test so that makes me happy. But all in all, I'm happy I passed so I can say that I am now officially a registered diagnostic medical sonographer!!!! So I get to update my resume to add my credentials, which feels great. And now hopefully the jobs will start opening up for me. Another major thing that happened, the day of my test I had an interview at one of the biggest hospitals in our area! I think I nailed it, and I was called back for a peer interview with the girls I'd be working with. That one I think I did alright on... I'm not sure how they felt about my "lack" of experience in pediatrics, and of course I didn't even think about how important that would be (they have a childrens hospital for heavens sake!) so that is probably going to put my competitor for the position above me. She did her clinicals at that hospital so I feel she's got the edge over me. Plus she's been working and I haven't... I just want a job in an OB/Gyn office, but at this point I'll take anything for experience. I know that sounds awful, but I've been out of school since May, and I'm the only one from my class without a job. It really is starting to make me wonder if I can actually do this. Is there something I'm lacking? I try to be confident, and not come off as cocky because I'm no where near that confident, lol. But I'm wondering if the potential employers aren't seeing something in me that I need to have to be a good sonographer. I hate questioning myself like this. But if I get this job.. I am seriously wondering if I can actually do it. Can I do this? After training I'll be basically on my own, by myself, with no safety net. AND to top it off, apparently the radiologists at this hospital rely a lot on their sonographers to tell them what we think we see. I'm not that experienced yet, and oh. my. gawd. how scary to be telling a very learned individual my "diagnosis" .. what if I'm wrong? How embarrassing.
I'm just waiting now for the interviews to be over so they can make their decision and get back with me. .. in the mean time, maybe I'll just study some more, lol. I mean I've been doing it for so long anyway. ;) Have a good week!
I'm just waiting now for the interviews to be over so they can make their decision and get back with me. .. in the mean time, maybe I'll just study some more, lol. I mean I've been doing it for so long anyway. ;) Have a good week!
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Lately
Well, I am finally back. I am trying to get on my computer more so that I can blog more but I've been studying for my registry exams so it's been tough. There are many, many updates in the making.. which I think I'll separate into multiple posts over the next few weeks so that I can work on individual topics. I think that way it will read easier, lol. So I got this idea from Mrs V on a list of the last thing(s) I have done. So here goes!
The Last...
Person I texted was my husband. It seems like the only two people I text (or talk to at all) these days are my husband and my mom. Well, then of course there's Abi. I talk to her daily, lol.
Movie I watched was How to Train Your Dragon 2. I loved the first one because I love the idea of dragons, I like most of Dreamworks movies and it was just what I needed to decompress after a long week of hobbling around. Oh yeah, I sprained my left ankle really bad a few weeks ago.. at the park.. alone with Abi... yet another post..
Person I talked to was the gentleman at the drive through at Tim Hortons. I'm still on Weight Watchers, but I've been cheating a bit lately. I have to get back into the swing of things if I'm going to drop another 10lbs by Christmas.
The last package to arrive... I got a knife/spatula/measuring spoon set from hubby's grandpa in North Dakota. It was an odd gift, and not my birthday. But I appreciate a good, sharp knife, and I really like the metal measuring spoons. :) So I'm grateful for the thought.
Outfit I wore was my grey dress pants and blue and white striped dress shirt. I went to a local pregnancy center to interview for a volunteer position to do ultrasound for them. Unfortunately they have been pretty slow so they said they'd call if things picked up. Geez I can't even volunteer somewhere..
Thing I cooked was a delicious, lighter taco casserole. Well, actually it was just ground beef, salsa, and black beans (the recipe calls for taco chips too, but I tried to make it "lighter" lol) It is so so good! I'm going to have hubby buy more of the salsa I used because it is just amazing! I had more for a snack later on because it was just so good!
Thing I ate was a bagel belt from Tim Hortons. Again.. cheating on my diet, but I am logging the points, so I guess it's okay. I was doing so well not going to any fast food.. I have to reimplement my fast food ban, or I'm going to gain back the 12lbs I've lost.
Picture I took on my phone was of Abi's dinner last night. It looks really good. I was taking a picture to send to hubby and Abi said "take one of mine mommy!!" So of course, I had to oblige her adorable request.
Show I watched was King of the Hill. I am watching it right now actually. Well, listening to it more than watching it since I'm engrossed in writing this blog. lol. I like to have something playing in the background when I'm studying, and especially when I'm home alone (or hubby's upstairs sleeping) because it makes me feel less lonely.
Game I played on my phone was Words With Friends. Do you play? Let me know, I'd love some new friends to play with.. hubby and I play all the time, when we have the time, lol. Although he tends to beat me because he "cheats" and uses names like Tony, when I don't get to.. LOL I thought it was Scrabble rules but I guess it's not really.
So that's my post. I will be updating more, I will honestly. As soon as next Monday is over my feed will blow up with updates. At least that's the plan. Until then, wish me luck on my registry exam (that's Monday) I've already passed what I feel to be the hardest (physics) so I'm hoping I'll pass this one no problem... We'll see...
The Last...
Person I texted was my husband. It seems like the only two people I text (or talk to at all) these days are my husband and my mom. Well, then of course there's Abi. I talk to her daily, lol.
Movie I watched was How to Train Your Dragon 2. I loved the first one because I love the idea of dragons, I like most of Dreamworks movies and it was just what I needed to decompress after a long week of hobbling around. Oh yeah, I sprained my left ankle really bad a few weeks ago.. at the park.. alone with Abi... yet another post..
Person I talked to was the gentleman at the drive through at Tim Hortons. I'm still on Weight Watchers, but I've been cheating a bit lately. I have to get back into the swing of things if I'm going to drop another 10lbs by Christmas.
The last package to arrive... I got a knife/spatula/measuring spoon set from hubby's grandpa in North Dakota. It was an odd gift, and not my birthday. But I appreciate a good, sharp knife, and I really like the metal measuring spoons. :) So I'm grateful for the thought.
Outfit I wore was my grey dress pants and blue and white striped dress shirt. I went to a local pregnancy center to interview for a volunteer position to do ultrasound for them. Unfortunately they have been pretty slow so they said they'd call if things picked up. Geez I can't even volunteer somewhere..
Thing I cooked was a delicious, lighter taco casserole. Well, actually it was just ground beef, salsa, and black beans (the recipe calls for taco chips too, but I tried to make it "lighter" lol) It is so so good! I'm going to have hubby buy more of the salsa I used because it is just amazing! I had more for a snack later on because it was just so good!
Thing I ate was a bagel belt from Tim Hortons. Again.. cheating on my diet, but I am logging the points, so I guess it's okay. I was doing so well not going to any fast food.. I have to reimplement my fast food ban, or I'm going to gain back the 12lbs I've lost.
Picture I took on my phone was of Abi's dinner last night. It looks really good. I was taking a picture to send to hubby and Abi said "take one of mine mommy!!" So of course, I had to oblige her adorable request.
Show I watched was King of the Hill. I am watching it right now actually. Well, listening to it more than watching it since I'm engrossed in writing this blog. lol. I like to have something playing in the background when I'm studying, and especially when I'm home alone (or hubby's upstairs sleeping) because it makes me feel less lonely.
Game I played on my phone was Words With Friends. Do you play? Let me know, I'd love some new friends to play with.. hubby and I play all the time, when we have the time, lol. Although he tends to beat me because he "cheats" and uses names like Tony, when I don't get to.. LOL I thought it was Scrabble rules but I guess it's not really.
So that's my post. I will be updating more, I will honestly. As soon as next Monday is over my feed will blow up with updates. At least that's the plan. Until then, wish me luck on my registry exam (that's Monday) I've already passed what I feel to be the hardest (physics) so I'm hoping I'll pass this one no problem... We'll see...
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
Title???
I have no idea what to title this post because I have not written anything in so long that my post is likely to become such a garbled mess of updates that one single title could never do it justice. Lets begin with this; I'm back on Weight Watchers. We'll see how long this lasts. I don't know why, but I have had absolutely no motivation to lose weight until recently. I've tried and failed so many times this year that it's just sad. I talk big, but I can't seem to follow through. Then my hubby said that he doesn't even want to discuss having another kid until I've got my weight and health in a better place. He wasn't being mean, he was just being concerned. I know that at my current weight a pregnancy would be very bad. Not only did I have gestational diabetes with Abi, but I was quite a bit lighter.. a heavier momma can mean a very unhealthy pregnancy and I can't do that knowing what could happen. So I guess that is my motivation.. even though I'm not entirely sure I want another kid. There are days when Abi is so amazing and cute and fun and funny and I would take 5 more of her.. Then there are nights when she wakes up screaming and I get zero sleep and I swear that I will never have anymore. It's not her fault, she's my baby and I am here to comfort her. But I love my sleep too! And if we have another kid I will be the one not sleeping again. Josh won't be getting up, partly because I'll have to get him up, partly because me having to get him up will mean I'm awake and won't be able to go back to sleep anyway. Boo. See? These are the selfish things that go through my mind.. how awful.
I've been obsessing about the Gilmore Girls lately. I love that show and thanks to hubby we own every season, so whenever I can I have been watching. I'm up to season 4 in just a few weeks. LOL What I need to be doing with my free time is studying as I have 2 registries to take and pass so that I can get a nice job. I only have to take one to become credentialed as RDMS (registered diagnostic medical sonographer) but I am taking both to make myself more marketable. I'm really vying for a position at a maternal fetal medicine department... which means yet another registry, but it's one that I was hoping to get anyway. Anyway, I really should be studying and I keep putting it off... and I need to send my paperwork in so that I can actually schedule my first test.. hopefully for the beginning of August. Scary thought. But I can't keep waiting, my last interview didn't go so well and I am pretty sure it's because I'm not yet registered.
Sigh... I will have to write a part two to this... who knows when, hopefully soon... but my eyes are burning from staring at the computer so long (looking for work) Thanks if you made it this far! :)
I've been obsessing about the Gilmore Girls lately. I love that show and thanks to hubby we own every season, so whenever I can I have been watching. I'm up to season 4 in just a few weeks. LOL What I need to be doing with my free time is studying as I have 2 registries to take and pass so that I can get a nice job. I only have to take one to become credentialed as RDMS (registered diagnostic medical sonographer) but I am taking both to make myself more marketable. I'm really vying for a position at a maternal fetal medicine department... which means yet another registry, but it's one that I was hoping to get anyway. Anyway, I really should be studying and I keep putting it off... and I need to send my paperwork in so that I can actually schedule my first test.. hopefully for the beginning of August. Scary thought. But I can't keep waiting, my last interview didn't go so well and I am pretty sure it's because I'm not yet registered.
Sigh... I will have to write a part two to this... who knows when, hopefully soon... but my eyes are burning from staring at the computer so long (looking for work) Thanks if you made it this far! :)
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Foods
I've been meaning to write this for a time... I'm trying to eat better and I thought maybe if I kept posting my favorites I would find some motivation to keep going... I am terrible at following a "diet" plan of any sort these days... I'm just in a lazy/emotional/not into it slump. How awful. But... These foods help remind me that better for me food does still taste good! 
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